The "L" word...

So this week in class we talked about the "L" word. You guessed it, love! The word "love" means so many different things! So we talked about four different types of love. The first is called agape - which is a love that is independent of one's feelings for another person; the idea that you can love someone without necessarily liking them, or have charity towards them. The next is storge - which is usually thought of as the love between parents and their children; it is a nurturing, concern for  their well-being type of love. Another type of love is called phillia - which a warm or close relationship; like the love that exists between friends. And finally there is eros - which is romantic or sexual love, like the love that exists between a man and a woman. We all experience most of these types of love in one form or another. And personally I believe they're all very important. So, what kind of love do you want in a marriage relationship? You might be thinking that the obvious answer is eros, but I don't think we should discount the other types of love in this consideration. I think a good percentage of all of them would be ideal. For example, I have every intention of being as concerned about my future husband's health and well-being as I do my future children's. I hope to be able to express love in a caring and supportive way that some might consider to be nurturing. Also, because of my faith in Jesus Christ I know that I will love my future husband simply because he is a child of God. I know that my future husband will be my best friend and that we will develop a close and personal relationship that we can continue to develop for years and years. And obviously I hope to have romantic relationship with my future husband. I suppose the degree to which each type of love will be part of our relationship will vary as the years go by, but love will always be there. So here's to my "some day" family and all the love we'll share!

Differences....

There is one aspect of life that I think is SO frustrating yet SO wonderful is that we are all different! I love it! Our differences are such a beautiful thing. One difference that I really want to talk about it "gender differences." It seems like the differences between men and women are becoming increasingly controversial. Many people want to be "equal." But I think they fail to realize that we can be equal without being the same. In The Family: A Proclamation to the World the leaders of the Church declare that "Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose." Males and females are intended to be different. If we weren't different I don't think marriage would be quite as beautiful as it is. It is our differences I believe that help us to complete each other. With their differences a man and a woman can fill in each others gaps to form the perfect whole. I believe this is a major purpose as to why we come to earth and form eternal families; it is part of our eternal progression and the perfection process.
Boyd K. Packer said, "Except Adam and Eve by nature be different from one another, they could not multiply and fill the earth. The complementing differences are the very key to the plan of happiness."
Spencer W. Kimball said, "In his wisdom and mercy, our Father made men and women dependent on each other for the full flowering of their potential. Because their natures are somewhat different, they can complement each other; because they are in many ways alike, they can understand each other. Let neither envy the other for their differences; let both discern what is superficial and what is beautifully basic in those differences and act accordingly."
Richard G. Scott said, "In the Lord's plan, it takes two - a man and a woman - to form a whole. Indeed, a husband and wife are not two identical halves, but a wondrous, divinely determined combination of complementary capacities and characteristics."
Men and women are meant to be different. But it is our differences that allow 'ordinary and imperfect people [to] build each other through their wholeness together.' We should embrace those differences and build on them so that we can grow together and become more like our heavenly parents. So here's to my "some day" family and all the beautiful differences we'll have!

The Foundation of My Thought Process...

I wanted to establish something before I get too far in this journey. I think it will help to explain why I believe and say some of the things that I do. So, for the record. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, sometimes called and more commonly known as a "Mormon." I am a convert to the church and LOVE the gospel. This is the major foundation of my beliefs, thinking and points of view. I am by no means perfect, but I strive to live in harmony with the teachings of the Church and to be the best disciple of Jesus Christ I can. I mean no offense to anyone by anything I post on this blog, but I have every intention of declaring what I know to be true and attempting to apply it to life. If you ever have any questions feel free to leave a comment or take a look at www.mormon.org or www.lds.org. And to learn more about the Church's teachings on the family see http://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation. So here's to my "some day" family and yours. The gospel of Jesus Christ really does make it better, and it's how we can achieve the greatest happiness in this life and eternal joy in the world to come!

Culture...

Something we talked a lot about this week in class was culture, and it's really gotten me thinking. So first of all, what is culture? According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary culture is "a way of thinking, behaving, or working that exists in a place or organization" - or "the characteristic features of everyday existence." Culture is extremely diverse. It is different from nation to nation, state to state and even family to family. But it's significant because culture is what every day is made of, and it's always changing because we're always changing.As we go through life and begin to form our own families we also begin to form our own cultures. Each couple will bring different cultures to their marriage. Couples tend to choose the aspects of their family of origin's culture that they want to continue to pass on.
As we go about this process we can consider the question, are all cultures equal in terms of being right and wrong, good or bad? While this may seem like a hard question, I think the answer is relatively obvious.  All cultures have some good and bad aspects. But I believe some are better, and worse, than others. For example, (and this is very generally and broadly speaking) gang culture fosters unity, support, teamwork and often defense. Those are all "good" qualities that we seek to develop in our own relationships and families. But perhaps in a gang they are misdirected, as they are used congruently with violence, hate, abuse and crime; which are "bad" aspects of the same culture. Alternatively, the culture fostered by disciples of Jesus Christ promotes love, service, faith and hope. These are all "good" qualities. But because we are all imperfect, mortal beings these attributes are sometimes tainted with prejudice and judgment which are certainly not good. As I mentioned before, both cultures have positive and negative aspects. But I would be so bold as to say that the culture emulated by Jesus Christ and followed, albeit imperfectly, by his disciples is clearly better than that of a gang. As we seek to develop our own cultures and perhaps to refine our current ones, we should remember that not all cultures are equal and we should strive to incorporate as many "good" qualities into our cultures as we can. So here's to my "some day" family, and all the characteristic features of our (future) everyday existence. I can't wait to see what our culture will be like.

Why study...?

I realized that I forgot to make a post last week, but don't worry I've got two for you! I've been considering a lot lately why we study the family? The truth is that the family unit influences almost every aspect of life. The family you grow up in has a major part in influencing who you become and how you live your life. Our family of origin (or the family we are born into) will even influence our family of creation (or the family we go on to create with a future -or current - spouse). In the text book we use in my Family Relations class is says, "One of the ways we get a better sense of who we are is to know more about the kind of family of which we are a part." (Marriage and Family: The Quest for Intimacy eighth addition, Robert H. Lauer and Jeanette C. Lauer pg.3) Personally studying the family has two purposes for me. One is that it helps me to learn and better understand who I am and why I do the things I do. I believe it also helps me to prepare to have a family of my own some day.
There are so many different ways to study the family, and specifically your family. A genogram is a graphic display of a family tree that displays detailed data on relationships among individuals. When we use a genogram to study a family it helps us to see behavioral patterns and influences we may not otherwise have noticed. It can also help us to make changes in our behaviors and life-styles so as to prevent passing on undesirable traits to future generations, and maybe simply being able to better understand where certain habits came from. In the coming weeks I will be making a genogram of my family so we'll see what I learn not only about my family, but also about myself. So here's to my "some day" family. Hopefully what I learn now will help some day to make more sense. And I hope we're better for it.